Words and more...

Its been a long time since I published anything , more so because I have been busy (Yeah I know lame excuse ) but often words are not enough if not spoken or written. That said I am writing today because sometimes words do weave a magic of their own . I remember keeping a message from my parents sent during a time of crisis in my life where they had just mentioned that they would support me in whatever decision I took. That message was in my old mobile which I lost and for me loosing something costly was not the effect rather the fact that I lost those written words of expression love from my parents. We all tend to savour words , words which touch us, how many of us keep messages from long lost friends or people we care about in our mobiles never to delete. We keep cards and little notes with us reminding us of the days and thoughts they express they remind us of the time lost and time past. These words remain with us as a reminder like a photograph which never changes. Why am I writing about words ? I have always been enchanted with the magic of words. I firmly believe that words can be made into anything, they can be a weapon to hurt as cruel as the worst torture , sometimes soothing as cold water on a hot afternoon, a blanket of security, a distant memory, a reminder of a time gone by, a beautiful lyric , a soul touching moment anything and everything. And yet we don't use them to the fullest, we throw away our words into the universe without any sense of justification. We speak , we write without thinking . " As weeks passed rain became emboldened, abandoned the sanctuary of the night and came by day" This particular sentence inspired me enough to start writing again( I know I am rambling but who cares this is my blog)The writer could have written that it started raining in the morning but now she has hidden the same meaning in a extensive yet mystical web of words. So back to the topic, has anyone wondered ever why do words move us , why do words mean to us so much? Is it because the spoken word or the written word is something like a symbol of our feelings inside ,words can be touched felt and remembered. We can always associate them with that particular moment and then they become the part of the memory.Has it ever happened that a song playing somewhere has made us wander into a memory lane often very vague but yet a stored fact which had held meaning back then and now has vanished into the realms of our unconsciousness. The song in our head our only touch with that memory. I want to write write more, but right now my thoughts are too jumbled to be systematically arranged into meaningful sentences.

Categories..

Not seen much of life , yeah I am hardly 25 but still I lay down something which I have seen and observed :)


Human beings are divided into three categories

1) Doers- these people have things happening to them, they have to make things happen. They are to whom on whom life’s experiments are acted upon
2) Catalysts- in life there are a set of people because of whom things happen , they are like catalysts in human reactions, because of them something happens or something takes place
3) And finally the observers- they observe , they observe and learn, nothing happens to them in life , they just go on observing


All of us at every moment of our life are one of these , sometimesa doer , a observationist or a catalyst. Its not that we choose these roles at a particular moment although sometimes we are given such choices.but it more like its thrust upon us.
But on the whole a distinct role is shaped out for us according to the role we majorly play
Like for me I am an observer in the big show called life, an audience . Because this is the role which I generally follow.

A Recruiter's Life

Wrong title actually because truly speaking recruiters don't have a life
whatever they had is now loaned out to the company they are working in.

Heard about the proverb dhobhi ka kutta na ghar ka na ghat ka , well we recruiters are literally living that life and even worse

Recruiters are treated like dogs , if the candidates drop off its their fault , if candidates don't perform its the recruiter's fault

Sometimes i get an impression from my manager that if my candidate will get ill then it also will be my fault

Why should a recruiter be responsible for everything?????????

I will select a candidate who has got a good cv, how am i responsible if he is not able to attend his interview because his boss did not give him leave...

But no i'll be getting scoldings , i will be shouted upon

Similarly if the company which is hiring doesn't select a candidate , the candidate in turn will eat my head

See i am getting it from both side

Neither my manager lets me live in peace nor my candidate is leaving me in peace

So where do i go


I believe recruitment is dependent a lot on the luck

No offence to any hardcore recruiter but its just POV

Luck because you get the right cv but don't know whether it will get hit by the company
And then luck again if that candidate doesn't get an better offer from other company
Then again if he joins in the right time

The skill involved is where and how you get cv and rest all is luck

And why should I be blamed for my poor luck?

Lets see if I ever get ahead of my luck or not

Its Instinctive!!!!!!!!!!

It was made fun of heavily by Mr. Poirot in Agatha Christie's novels but somehow or the other I have always felt women do have 6th sense .
I too have it not a very active one but yes it happens out of a blue.

Years ago when I was in class fourth I woke up early on a holiday and I woke up uncharacteristically early and intercepted a phone call, it was a call which told my mom that her mother my maternal grandmother is very ill and immediately imagined her on ice slab
My mom and dad left that day and days later we came to know that my maternal grandmother is no more and yes when my mom reached her home my nani was laid on ice slab
Second time it happened when I saw my mom talking to someone on phone and don't know why I knew that my maternal grandfather had died and I knew he had an heart attack near the bathroom

and days laters I was proved true
Yes he had died that same day with his first attack in front of the bathroom.

Years later I fell asleep when I was reading a book and had a dream that someone was calling me didi and I rushed downstairs and made my mom call my maternal aunt who was pregnant and lo behold and she was in labour room and gave birth to my young cousin that very day itself.

is this instinct?...
Did I tell you . I was not very close to my maternal grandparents neither my my cousin but still it happened.

I don't know
So many things have happened
Sometimes I see somethings which register in my brain and my unconscious mind which led to this?
There have been two more incidents which may me more of a sixth sense than instinct and yet I held it out for years and they came to be true
And if the third thing which I believe should happen will happen then maybe I'll make myself a seer :) :)

Its something very against which will take around two or more years to happen but some thing tells me it will


I don't know lets see

A conversation with God

Me : whats up
God: I am up
Me: glad to see you finally up!!!!!! Can I ask a few questions?
God: OK shoot
ME: Why did you create this world
God: I had nothing better to do
Me: why did you make it such a twisted place
God: I didn’t make it a twisted place you all did
Me: but it was you who made us why did you make us so twisted
God: I didn’t make you twisted I gave you choices you took the wrong ones
Me: don’t give me that crap,its your world , you created it why can’t you manage it, why was there a need for choices
God: so what was I supposed to do ? monitor your every move and make this world a dictatorial place, I made you all gave you brains and now you can’t manage it then why fault me
Me: excuse me , there are so many good people here on this world and yet they suffer , innocent people die , they are killed murdered and what not and you say we are at fault, what do you do when people pray , are you asleep or something
God : that’s karma
Me: explain
God: karma is cycle of life , what ever good you do will be celebrated in next life and whatever bad you do will be punished too
Me: what the hell ,s o if I am unhappy now because of my previous birth’s faults , but I don’t even remember that, and now all good I do will go to my next janam , why should I suffer for the faults of before , I rather do all bad things now and let my next janam take care of itself
God: you are mistaken,you should learn to do good
ME: I think you have got it all wrong
God: I am God how can I be wrong
Me: well you created this world and seeing the state it is in I think you are wrong , can you tell me where have you been right
God: umm ah ummm
Me: see I told you so, nothing right and as a creater and a manager you are not doing anything, why can’t you just begin again
God: I just lost threads long back and now even if I try I can’t make it try
Me : so why not tell all the human race so that we c an stop praying to you and not waste time and then I think some conflicts will also be resolved
God: I can’t do that ,people believe in me
Me: and their belief shatter s everyday too , you ought to stop it
God: if people stop believing In me there will be more turmoil
Me: how so
God: where will you all take your woes and blames, hope and faith is all what holds this world together now, if that also goes nothing will be left
Me: so we are expected to go on having faith even when you do nothing or can do nothing
God: just give me a few more decades I am in process of thinking of a solution
Me: how many decades?
God: you are on my case too aggressively
Me: I am tired of being good and doing good with no returns and nothing going good with me
God: have faith
Me : in what
God: me
Me: ha ha ha good joke , even after this conversation, why should I when I know you can do nothing
God: because you don’t have a choice
Me: you told me you gave everyone choice
God: belief is not a choice , even a atheist prays even if its in that corner of his heart which he doesn’t recognize it himself, everyone has faith and hope, you all rise from bed because they have hope from this day, a animal hunts again and again with a hope it will have better food, the day you loose hope and faith the world will come to a standstill because nobody will be able to go on
Me: oh you mean to say everything I do because I hope
God: you brush your teeth in hope that it will remain white and in working condition
Me: I brush my teeth to keep it clean
God: totally beside the point
Me: I am confused
God: don’t worry you’ll grow up
Me: this is a vicious cycle, you have trapped us
God: I know it is and I don’t know where it began , but you have to fight this vicious cycle
Me: huh!!!!!!!!!!!!
God: gotta go will continue this later
Me: my all questions are not answered
God: some other time and to tell you the truth even I don’t have answers, sometimes you have to let it be bye
Me: and that’s thats

Third year @ Banasthali- a life time of memories which can never be described by mere words

Third year was by far the most memorable one, because I think for the first time the whole class of ours was located together in the same wing of the same hostel.
100 girls in the same wing of a hostel which could hold nearly two hundred something girls
Well I don’t think that there is any need to say that we made life hell for the hostel in charge
They were a couple of old ladies – Sudha jiji and Bharti jiji as we used to call them
The hostel was the oldest in the whole of banasthali and had a distinct character of its own
The roofs used to leak during rains , the bathroom doors couldn’t be latched properly. Since it was so old it had all kinds of ghost stories circulating it and of course the old jijis who were part and parcel of this whole building added to the overall effect of us living in some old age era
The rules were stricter the food better and life of course more fun
We had prayer meetings every night , and all of us biotech girls used to go and sit right at the back and make fun. The best things we used to do was tie the chunnis of the girls sitting in front of us .prayer hall was also attendance hall so we had to give attendance sharp at 9
It was in the prayer hall where we were subjected to thoughts as to that we were all ruined for life and also that what will we ever teach our children as we were so badly brought up
This did not endear us to the old ladies of course and I think someone took revenge on our part from them when one of our hostel inmates(for the life of me I cannot guess) threw a lighted firecracker into their room when they were asleep. They were scared to death and promptly started a rumour that these girls were trying to kill them.
Inspite all this the third year was the best
I remember going to Jaipur many times for giving exams (mba entrance)
The chemistry labs were even more fun , as being seniors we had more time to spend at that place
I remember going to the top of gyan mandir which housed the labs . The terrace was a beautiful place to be, you could look all around at the expanse of land which mostly was a virgin.
We cooked at the batti where I learned lots of things about cooking
I think till date the most memorable holi was what I spent in banasthali third year
We played with all the colors right in the night and in the morning when no color was to be found we all went out side and played with mud and sand
Catching girls one by one and then pushing them into the mud pit
It was violent dirty and very much fun .Till date the best one I ever had
How can I forget Usha’s antics in scaring us
She was one don of our hostel. We were properly scared as she used to come just when some of us were taking bath and one thud of her fist on the door and it used to fly open.
Just to save our dignity many of us used to take bath at 4 o clock in the morning when she was sleeping
I remember when exam times used to come I and Garima used to sit in terrace to read but always ended gossiping a lot.
The second thing which we all will always remember the strike we had during our last year to ask for holidays .
We all decided at night and then the next morning all of us didn’t go for breakfast and sent the messages that we won’t be having lunch too
This made the chairman and his son to come to our hostel where ensued a big discussion which led to negotiation and finally a decision on our side
Another thing was water shortage
By the end of the term the water which used to come out of the taps was getting yellow in color
We had to resort to drinking only bisleri water buying it out of shops
We had no choice but to use that yellow water to bath but washing hair was out of question
So once 4 of us roomies took towel and our shampoos and then washed our heads in the hand pump outside
Then one day we had food poisoning chapter in the hostel
Then at last but not the least the going away time, as much as we all loved holidays it was the last time we all were together and that thought brought tears to everyone’s eye.

And now we have tears because try as we may we can never bring back those days
Those golden days when happiness meant having rajma chawal on Thursday and sadness meant not talking to your room mates
Where fighting meant that we were fighting about who should go to take a bath first and when entertainment meant watching movie with friends under the open sky
How can I forget that we were so mad about movies that we stood in rains to watch a movie end
How can I or anyone forget those late night talks
All the philosophy and everything which was discussed under the pretence of playing games.
Life can never be the same again for all of us because we were a part of banasthali
We have slept under the open sky looking at the stars and the milky way
We have felt and established bansthali in our lives and our hearts .
The friends we have made their have life long bond because three years were something which we won’t change for all the gold or diamonds in this world .
Life can never be the same again
A life time of memories which I can never put down in words….

Banasthali 2ND year

My second year is marked by my friend ship with a Girl named USHA who I now more fondly call don
Let me start the beginning of this friendship where it actually began , it began at sindhi camp the main bus station of Jaipur , I was waiting in a bus which was to leave for banathali when suddenly I looked out and saw Usha , she was famous in first year because she belonged to a group of people who got up at 12 noon and rushed to our side of building to freshen up. I had hardly talked to her ever in my first year and yet when I looked out and saw her standing I couldn’t help but smile which was reciprocated.
Our smiles became legends because we became roommates in short span of time. We were roommates for next 2 years and now friends for ever
She was one person who taught me a lot, when I now look back to my second year all I can remember is that I was enjoying my time being her roommate
She is a magnet of some kind people came to talk to her . I came to know so many people through her. This does not mean that we didn’t fight, although I have never fought with her but still we were chums , and still are.
I must not forget some incidents which happened in this years, I read harry potter’s new book in one night and was termed a geek and hari putter was renowned all over the hostel, we played kho-kho on my birthday which caused my room mate and friend Ayushi to break her leg and miss lot of her term.
I Usha and few others ganged up on people on valentine’s days who were trying to talk in peace with their bfs
I first learned the concept of night outs when we five as roommates spent hours in the night talking , we started living dangerously, taking pangas in which Usha was the leader.
Lot of thievery occurred in the hostel with lot of consequences.
I learned new words thanks to my Guru Usha
I remember after every exam we used to rush out to lucky’s canteen and eat our heart out
We all used to hog the breakfast
And yes cooking in the night, fried rice pohas and what not
This year also taught me not to trust anyone completely , who knows when and where a friend may turn against you
I also remember this year because I reined in myself and turned more disciplined studying more and concentrating more
I will also say that some of the most happiest hours in my second year were spent in the first floor back end of the banasthali central library where I sat hours on and read to my heart’s content
I remember running away to library whenever things got a little tough and then staying tere till I calmed myself down and ready to face everything.
It was a year which also changed the fortunes of my family, I first came to know that not everything was right at home and being so far away I was not able to do anything to help my mom and dad and that tore me to pieces.
But I’ll always be thankful because I met Usha , and came closer to lots of people like Garima , Ankita. , got to know the real faces of many people whom I trusted .
I also realized many things and honed up my acting skills, had a lot of fun learning and yes more in depth study of chemistry
All this while I didn’t loose my tenacity of liking kskbt and other ekta Kapoor shows(yeah me !!!!!!)
I remember that once the dean and the chairman arrived at our hostel and we all panicked that they were here for search of hostel and we ran helter skelter to hide our mobiles as best we could coming up with brilliant plans in few seconds which involved slashing the window grills
The danger passed as the search was made but only of our senior’s room and beer bottles were found there .
That year was also when Pratibha Patil visited our campus then a governor now she is the first woman president of our country
This gave rise to a myth that whoever visits bansthali is sure to make it big one day as Dr Abdul Kalam had also visited Banasthali in the past
Second year was filled with fun fights and Uno , a game which enthralled us so much that we palyed it late into nights and now just a few days back when we all had a reunion of sorts played it again sitting in the park
Once in second year we also had our share of superstitions , we did all sorts of pooja in our room (he he he)
We saw or imagined to see planchet happening the next hostel
I learned that there exists lot of things like black magic and a story which my friend Garima told me that once she saw a kalash flying during navratri times.
I can go on writing as memories rush past me but I’ll stop now as enough is enough
Usha I am so glad I smiled at you in Sindhi camp that day.