Whats lacking today- Positivity

positivity from what well first of all from our thoughts , from our lives and yes from the media
i have been spurred on to write this by the media's continous attack on govt. regarding the common wealth games... instead of focussing on how big an event is this they keepon hopping on the fact that there as been misrepresentation on every sphere
you open on tv channel and then the other and all one can hear is that there has been cheating
well i once read on Mr Amitabh Bachchan's blog on how when Ireland had an earthquake but the front page of the news paper featured a firefighter saving a boy
thats the spirit the media of india should show
we are continuously harping upon how we are behind so many nations our economy is not upto the par well for heavens sake we should stop comparing ourselves to USA because USA got its freedom nearly 200 years ago and we only got it nearly 60 years ago so why are we complaining
we have made progress and that also in just 60 years
reader digest is the largest selling magazine all over the world because it focuses on the positive aspects , we have columns like everyday heroes survivors
so why can't we for once focus on the good things
for media in india ita like the sun is never shining
when it doesn't rain they talk about droughts and when it rains they talk about the drainage systems and the floods
oh comeon give us a break
every time i read newspaper i believe that everyone is scum on earth
i remember watching bunty and bubli and how bunty chooses to go the wrong way because he was getting fame
thats what we do instead of highlighting the good effects we highlight the wrong ones
why shouldn't a person's name be in news paper because he has done a good deed
the newspaper is the essence of life in a city distilled to black and white and instead of showing all the grey shades is it asking too much to show a few whites ones too
i have been on metro countless of times and have seen people standing up giving up their seats to elderly , to pregnant women to physically handicapped without being asked to. this is the thing which should be appreciated.
why a person who has raped a child get out attention while a police officer who has saved the life of a child be denied that right .
i know its media job is to become the conscience of the govt. but does it have to be a pain in the ass.
focus on something pure good
every person in a city wakes up to newspaper and reads all the evil things happening and goes to work with negative thoughts in the mind
but does that mean there are no good people here there are
i have seen a young boy helping an old man cross the road, i have seen a rickshaw driver help an accident victim
these are our everyday heroes why can't we appreciate them for a change
i am not asking to change the whole concept but just add a little positivity
a small column everyday showing how a person has done good towards the society
that will just make a day fill it and begin it with a little goodness

writing

I have always had this inclination to write , I don't know why but I prefer the written word to the spoken one. This means a lot to me a written word
thereby since I am left to my own resources or am free unwillingly(read unemployed)
I took to writing a short story
Well I had the basic structure in mind everything cut out and dried I had taken up or stolen characters from somewhere but the story was my own
I started writing and then I experienced a phenomenon which I believe I have read about
Its like this my characters started taking shape of the story I was not able to direct the story according to my own wishes instead my characters started guiding the story
I had the climax all drawn and done when I had to change it because my characters wanted it differently
No I am not going nutters . In Agatha Christie books she always has this one character a Mrs Oliver who is a successful mystery writer and in one of the books she has to give sermon on how she gets her plots ad she says that its not like a story pops into my mind and I write it down its just that I see a interesting person and I delve that person into my character and then they start taking shape and they make the story
Well this exact phenomenon happened to me now my characters are giving the story a new direction and I alas am left with no means of defense instead I have to capitulate and go along their whims and fancies . And for the world of me I don't know where is my story going next..........care to help me any one?

OH!! God

today i want to have a conversation with god but before that i will want him to come to me in human form so that i can kick his ass 6 billion and something times that is one for each human being who is on this earth to say nothing for all the animals and the insects and other living things
why so well so that atleast he'll know that he has bitten off more than he can chew
and yes i know definitely its a he up there because its only a "he" who can be so dumb
yes obviously
ohh god see if u don't how to manage then u should come down to earth and there are many management institutes enroll and learn ,see no use experimenting on us.
and yes the other thing is why all this nonsense of love and goodness because its all shit
so plz stop people who are preaching in your name . because if u existed or else had power 9/11 would never have happened
how come people get killed in your name
so many questions and iam sure u have no answer so why not just u know get up and go on ...........
and get ready to be kicked when ever i meet u

TEACHINGS

Just the other day I was feeling sorry for myself because of the predicament I am in because of the job situation and then due to some reason or the other I embarked on another journey into my life at Shaktinagar.
What I remembered this time is about Madhura, a very good friend of mine.We met at a crucial time , we were in class 11th . She shifted to Shaktinagar and joined St. Joseph my first school . We started talking and became friends more so because we were living close by. Well then came class 12 and we gave board exams the results were announced. Then started the actual rat race of life that is entering in the best college ,

( I wonder how actually our parents hope that we mere youngesters of 17-18 can decide at that very point what we want from rest of our lives)

I can't decide till now....... but that is of no consequence. anyways where was I yes ...... so the results came out and then she got selected for Manipal Sikkim university and boy was I jealous . That college was everything I wanted my college to be . It was set in a picturesque place , perpetually cold area, one of the best universities of India, a COED, and it was all about luxury.And I was going to Banasthali Vidyapith a college for girls set in some forest outside Jaipur capital of the hottest state of India . It was dirty and there we were meant to learn all the housework, no luxuries .....what a contrast from what I wanted my college to be like. So anyway we started our college life and we met during the holidays and we talked. Those days I was full of yearning to go to her college. I used to think why is she there I was better I should have been in Sikkim Manipal. I used to hear the tales, see the pics and have nothing to tell except having to share bathroom with 12 other people , sharing room with five. Two years went by and then something happened in our third year. I was busy with my preparation of MBA . I just lost touch. then she called and told me that she had left college. I had an inkling that she was having trouble but never knew that it grew so out of proportion.During the holidays she started telling me the harrowing time she had been through. it was awful . She had to leave the college due to nervous breakdown. She had nervous breakdown because people there were mistreating her. so she had to leave college in between her course and this meant her last three years were wasted . As I listened to her problems I began to see what all I had gained by living in a forest in Rajasthan . I had made great new friends , had learned to stand up for myself , had generally become a more stronger person. I had learned how to deal with people. I learned how where you lived didn't matter if you were enjoying the time.I met some great people who were so nice to me. I learnt that for a place to be nice it was the poeple who mattered not the general area one lives in. I felt pity for her because now she had to to look back and found her memories tainted while I had a only to look back and gain positive energy from my time at my college.
But then I forgot that everything happens for a reason. now my friend is a better judge of people . She has grown up truly. and back then it was my duty to give her advice and now its my privilege to receive advice from her. In my MBA during the bleak time when I was thinking of leaving the course she told me to go on because she didn't want me to have to look back and regret not completing something which I started.Her exact words were " Ankita if you come back now u'll look back and feel that if only I had completed my MBA don't do this to yourself.
And so life turned a full circle.
My friend has now completed her graduation and I have completed my MBA.
The point of telling all this is that I want to come to terms with the fact that everything happens in life for a reason. So the recent bleak period is just a phase and it'll pass.

"SURVIVOR"

I need no pity, I need no compassion all I need is opportunity to prove myself
I need no help I need no force all I need is the push to move forward
I am survivor in this dark dense forest of hopelessness holding out for a small twinge of hope.
I am walking the rope of despair and darkness and still balancing myself on the this eerie place
The impetus to move is gone and the will to look forward is on the last leg and still I move on .
SURVIVE is all I can do and thats what I will
and so it goes on and on

underdog

Do you know what an underdog means? Well I was attracted to this word because of its negative connotation but then I went ahead and checked it in the dictionary it means some one who is at a disadvantage
Well this word aptly defines me
Me who am I let me introduce myself I am an absolutely average looking girl with absolutely average grades, average family and yes with below average Iq and negative Eq
Do u need to know my name well a very average name – Pooja
If u look up in any average chawl or colony or slum on an average you’ll find at least 20 girls answering to this name
Haven’t I used this word AVERAGE a little too much but that’s it this is the word which I have been most associated with
Well now I want to change this because I want to be associated with the word underdog
Why this word well no only its more sophisticated but its also more enlightening it makes people take interest in you in this book
Underdog – well I am at a disadvantage – I am a no looker if by I cannot turn people’s head just by coming into the room more likely nobody will notice me if I enter any room
Ummm lets come to studies well absolutely no good I somehow feel that I have got a very thick head which is responsible for this no photographic memory no big Iq points nothing just about average
I get passed never flunked but never topped more likely being somewhere in the middle
Umm and another thing I am by most college standards a outlier( a bore basically) why?
Well I don’t like to have night outs ?(strict upbringing)
I like to read books instead of chatting
I DON’T have a Boyfriend
I am not interested in making one either ( Iam not a lesbian its just that I can’t make an effort to sustain a relationship)
I don’t take interest in other people’s doing (this basically makes me a snob or arrogant)
I just want to be myself in my own little world
And yes all these attributes makes me an out an out outlier


Well where should we start the story the most obvious answer to this one will be why at the beginning but if I try to explain when and where I was born this story would be resembling a geography lesson
So I’ll skip that part and anybody interested in my origins can just email me (plllllllllllzzzzzzzzz dooooooooo)
So I just start at the point where I entered the official world of the underdogs
well this story begins in a Mba school ( not IIMs , not everybody belongs to IIMs and they are definitely not underdogs)
So I reached this college with high hopes of myself and the new life
Earlier I used to belong to a very big and famous girls college and had lots of fun the last 3 years,by a quirk of fate I landed up in an Mba college
Well as the saying goes well begun is half done and that’s what happened
I did well in my orientation or induction
And then the downhill started at first it was very gentle slope and then it almost became an avalanche
How is this for beginning?

"Rendered Aimless"

Aimlessness is a state of mind when one doesn't know where to go , the direction of journey to go ahead. I have been aimless for so long that I can't even remember when I last had a aim for life.I have been walking along at the flow of the incidents I don't know the beginning and the end it just goes on and I go on with it. I know a time will come soon when I'll have to choose and the choice will not be easy to make but until and unless I have the idea of what and where I am going how in the world am I going to decide . Yes goals are very necessary for life ,in life because if no goals have been decided then people like me will land up in soup like I have been into for past few months.

"My name is Khan"

I just came back after watching the movie and apart from the superb acting the character of Mandira played by Kajol struck me as different because of the way she approached the disability (so called) in Shahrukh who was acting as a person who had Asperger syndrome. Most of us in any status of life would generally shun the person, treat him or her with pity or cruelty but never accept him but as in the case of the film Mandira accepts Rizwan completely, treats him not like a mental patient but a human being who is just a little different.
What people in this world have such understanding , will we have such maturity to treat people who if lacking in something are human beings too? How many of have the guts to be friendly to people who are different . How many of us have fallen into the compliance's of our own lives and whenever we see such people either take pity or just remove them from mind. The character of Mandira didn't she actually accepted and whats more didn't like to change it. Not many people have that gut many of us don't even have the the guts to think differently . Buts its a long drawn suffering of the society that whenever a person tries to think differently he or she have been termed as lunatic or genius . And both of these people let me tell you have a very lonely liFe . Do we remember Copernicus who first advanced the theory that it was earth which was revolving round the sun and not the vice versa.Copernicus was tried and found guilty and hanged to death , so did many unknown people , so why do we not accept people who are different. Just think back and recall the latest argument we had was because of a difference of opinions , why did it lead us to an argument because the person in front of was not of the same view , but does that mean the person in front of us is wrong . While dealing with various issues of life we forget that a coin has two sides and maybe the place we are standing just affords us one view and we need to have an open mind to accept the view which is not ours . When us common people don't have the mind to accept different points of view how will we accept people who are different .Why can't we realize that no one is same as the other its just that we God created us differently and being different is not a crime , its just nature's way of showing that God is a original creator . In Paa also it was shown how easily the young students had accepted Auro as a class mate they were friends and this is another thing we must remember that its us who pass our prejudices to our children and we must always be careful that the prejudices should be against bad mentality but not against people as a whole. It also shows that our mind should be like the mind of child who accepts all things as it and doesn't go into the analysis of why how and what. A child will go into the lap of a autistic person as easily it will go into the lap of a mother the difference he feels comes later when he learns to read the body language of the parent .
In the end all I can say is that being different is not a crime ,but treating somebody differently just because they are not same as you is a crime . In India perhaps this conditioning is rather too much and here we need to remove such barriers because " A COUNTRY CANNOT BE MADE FROM ONE TYPE OF PEOPLE IT IS MADE FROM ALL TYPES OF PEOPLE , WITHOUT THE SUBJECTS THERE WILL BE NO KING AND WITHOUT DISCIPLES THERE WOULD BE NO GOD".

Something about brothers and sisters

I have an older brother, he is older to me by three years and as life goes he has played a large part in shaping my life. We began as usual siblings fighting , crying hitting and hurting each other. One thing which always happened with him was that since our parents were working he was always given the task to look after me.I think he resented that task because he was not having the opportunity or freedom to do as he wish , but all that i can remember is that he was there every time I needed him. In nights when I woke up from a nightmare searching for comfort he used to wake up to and reassure me. We fought laughed had fun and other things and then the time came when he left for college . I was happy and sad, happy because I was going to take over his room and sad because now there would be no one to fight with me. His college going marked the change in our relationship because of the distance we came to know what we meant to each other and whenever he used to come back in holidays there was always something little for me .He used to tell me stories which happened which he didn't tell mom and dad
He told me first when he got a F on the subject.then came the day when i left for my innings outdoors and guess what whom I called when I had my first fight with my roomies yes my bro . He calmed me down and told me about his roommates and how he dealt with him and most importantly he explained to me that it was not necessary for me to like everyone and vice versa. We grew closer and now he is my best friend
i believe he cares for me a lot or else why would he spend all the money he got as prize in a national tournament so that he could buy me a walkman as I needed it, who will pledge me half his earning just because I am not earning and who will always be ready to hit or punch any guy tries to mess around with me. Yep thats my bro.I was the first person he called when he reached the magic figure of 5 . Earlier I always used to want sister elder one but now I know I wouldn't need one anyhow because I have an older brother. I really feel sorry for people who don't have siblings because they don't know what they are missing because its a special bond we share. he is first person I call when I am in trouble or angry or sad and he is the first person I call when I am happy thank u god for giving me a brother.

Eddie a maintenance engineer at a seaside resort dies trying to save a girl from a disembarked ride. He goes to heaven and meets five people at all different stages who tell him the meaning of his life and the answers he was looking for. he meets people who have shaped his life and each of them has something to teach him and in the end he realizes the meaning of his life the purpose. The whole story deals with experience of after life it defines what heaven means to each of us . and very subtly it gives the message that heaven is the place we choose to be happy Eddie was never happy at the seaside pier but by meeting these people he came to recognize that this was where he was meant to be , he was chosen by god to be there it was his destiny . and his heaven was the seaside resort because that was where he fulfilled his destiny.
The book has made me a believer in the concepts of fate and destiny because there are a few things in this world which cannot be defined which all of a sudden out of nowhere change the direction of our lives.

This book tells us that each of us is a part of a bigger picture and whether we realise or not our smallest activity actually affects a lot of people . on a more poignant note it also tells us that as a individual we all can make a difference however small and yet live a life which at a cursory glance means nothing but then even a smallest cog is needed to make the wheels turn .
The book made me realise that I should be happy with what I am , Eddie was not he was never at peace with himself it was only when he met the last of the five people he realised that he was what he was meant to be. Not all of us can presidents and other important people but people who do every day job are important too.
This book has made me remember the lines which I have always sought but never got
it goes something like this "no choice is wrong in the gods eye because this was what meant to happen" ah well it I have not got it right but it was something like this . It had something to do with Rahim or Kabir finding his guru
well I diverted from the topic
The end of the book is spectacular because Eddie after getting his five lessons returns to the resort and then he feels like he has come HOME.

I AM SICK OF LIFE

ah ha what a line well but its true i don't know about others but i am often in a phase when i find life highly unbearable when i see that life is so unfair that there is no point moving forward , there are more heart breaks that a person can see feel or bear. and seemingly there is no end to it, how much more u can give of yourself there comes a point of no return.i have already crossed the point of no return once before and that was a traumatic experience which has scarred me for life and now i am fast approaching another one and each day is more painful than the other...... the best thing about it is that you can't share it with anyone has i don't think any body can imagine what i am actually going through so u have to maintain the outer facade of being happy . how can i say how unfair is God yes he is ... what did i ask that he couldn't give and he knew i needed it . then also it has been not given . what does a person do when she has been cursed seven and a half year of her life and each day has been more onerous than the last.each day seems like a decade and i age at the same pace too . so seeing this that i am around 7000 years, no wonder i don't feel like living anymore
people say that life returns to you what you have given to it in my case its just vice a verse with me because whatever i give i get the opposite , i give respect and receive humiliation, i give smile and get frowns and scoldings , i give justice and all i receive is unfairness. and there is a limit to what i can actually take and see . i am sick of it GOD and i want to leave as soon as possible . What did i didn't do what was i lacking , what did i ask that it became almost impossible to give , was i wrong in trusting God yes thats the main point you see you can't trust God because he went to sleep he is sleeping and no amount of prayers is going to reach him and nothing is going to change because he is fast asleep . and yes even if he is awake he wouldn't do a thing because his hands are tied you see they only work for few people when he sees them in trouble he can take some initiative and all the rest can go to hell oops sorry nope all the rest can just "tako muh" i know i sound very bitter but i have every reason and logic to be as bitter i am not taking it all out now or else i would have been breaking a few things and Gods knows what will be the first thing i'll break.
why does everything has to go against me why for once in my life can't i get what i want and i know my wants are very legal . i have never asked for riches , or a miracle all i want is justice and fairness , all i want is my hard works return and this is something which everyone gets but me . if i get one paise for every time i have not received what i actually deserved by God by now i would be a millionaire twice over. and the second one will be in these two last year a
and today i make one promise to myself that once i get out of this place i choose never to return .i choose to leave the negativity of this place i choose to leave the shallowness around me i choose to leave the deceitfulness which has encircled me
i choose freedom from the utter baselessness and selfishness and this cursed place will be wiped out of my universe of existence and if ever i'll get a chance i would wipe out the memory of this place forever from my mind

BOOKS I love

There are few books in which i always read and reread again. its something which always makes me feel happy
"TO KILL A MOCKING BIRD"
WRITTEN in by Harper LEE it is a story of Scout and Jem a brother and sister who live with their lawyer father in AMERICA. its a story of how Scout sees the world a world from the eyes of a little girl from 6-10 years .a view of the world which most people forget when we grow up
its poignant reminder of how to see the world the right way, its about seeing the others point of view in a very selfish world
"HARRY POTTER -5TH 6TH AND THE LAST BOOK"
The whole series is wonderful but the last 3 books are exceptional thats because the way J K Rowling has described the emotions of Harry when he first looses Sirus his god father and then Dumbledore and then looses faith in his benefactor and yet he believes enough to go ahead , the other thing which touched my heart was the friendship between Ron and Harry and Hermione so pure and so very lasting a thing which is very rare in this world.
"THE ALCHEMIST"
Written by Paul Coleho a fable about achieving your dreams , its about what man can do if he just believes in himself and his dreams , a story about courage which just two things "whenever u want something desperately the whole universe conspires to give it to you" and the second thing we learn is the courage to follow your dreams and to really believe in the power of dreams.
"THE WEDDING"
A beautiful love story of a married couple its about how love can endure the years of harsh living and yet retain the tenderness which was in the beginning.Written simply by Nicholas Spark an endearing story
"THE LAST SONG"
Written by Nicholas Spark this book explores the relationship between a estranged father and his children, a deep but light book which tells how a relationship changes with time and yet always keeps its deeper meaning
"ICON"
Written by Fredrick Forsyth a fast paced thriller which spans 2 points of time . a war thriller which shows how a sharp mind can beat all odds how a well planned strategy and a utmost preparation can change the whole course of a nation's future and how destiny is can change the most difficult man
"AS THE CROW FLIES"
Written by Jeffery Archer a book which tells how a mans iron will can take him to the pinnacle of success . the title suggests that the crow flies from morning to evening but its only one focussed
"STRONG MEDICINE"
Written by Arthur Hailey a book about the pharmaceutical industries a book about the wrong and right decisions and how the people in power when taking these decisions can affect lives of million of people
"ACTS OF FAITH"
Written by Erich Sehgal"
a book about how each person interprets religion in his or her own way and yet each one reaches the same decision the love is the end point of all
2-3 hindi books which i like
"Chaudah Phere"
Written by renowed author Shivani a story of a rich and beautiful girl who was won over by pure love and not riches and beauty
"YughandhaR"
Written by Shivaji Sawant - this book tells the story of shri krishna in terms of people who were around him there are separate narrative about krishna from arjun , draupadi , rukmini, and from krishna himself . the different thing about this book is that it treats krishna as a human being with a very sharp mind

thats all for now in my next post i'll try to list down few books in non fiction category

LOVE...........

love is a word which i believe encompasses all the feelings possible in this world whether is hatred ,anger, sadness ,and etc . so whats new ,I have been in close touch with people in love and have observed them minutely and because i am such a nit wit i observe more than others ......... and yes i have seen and felt a lot. what i now tell is so difficult to word that is the hurt of love ....... and yet as i want to tell and write all sorts of thing , i can't continue on this note

so whats new just been to bangalore and back and yes i wanted always to tell the experience i had when i first went to pizza hut
well first of all let me tell you i am a foodie i love good food and yes with it a good ambiance is like sone pe suhaga and at pizza hut i get all the food the ambiance and the quality
i went to my first pizza hut at connought place New Delhi i went their with my brother for lunch as a treat because he had landed a job with IBM well anyways its was my initiation with the brand called PIZZA HUT . I actually don't remember what i had but i just remember that i an dmy bro had a serious talk and yet i was smiling the whole while ... well as i am located in a tiny town in karnatka for last two years so as such i had not many chances to visit pizza hut again but let me tell u whenever i go back hone to delhi by some way or the other i make my way back to pizza hut and yes i have also initiated my mum into this great place and she just loves the garlic bread..........so any ways have just been to Bangalore and went to pizza hut and had fun ........ this time i went with two close friends and let me tell u we were tooo busy eating our hearts out rather than talking .so just shows i may have added two ore people into the pizza eating cult