HOME AND ROOTS

I always consider that roots are associated with places rather than people. People say that having grandparents means having roots and its true to an extent. But for me having a place where i can go and relive my childhood is what is meant by ROOTS . I don't know whether this a kind of kink in my nature but having a place of my own which has a sense of security around it means a lot to me.A chance to be able to visit my childhood again ,a place where i can touch something and go back to my past. Its like magic;childhood was a magical time.My roots are where i have spent my childhood .And that place is "SHAKTINAGAR" a small township at the UP MP border.I know i can't go back there again but my heart yearns to be there.I dream about it often.For me that place was my "HOME".The word 'home' different meanings for everyone LEO TOLSTOY had said "home is place where when you go they have to take you in" but for me 'home' is a place where you always want to go........

BLOGS

I have recently developed a new hobby and that is of reading blogs and MY GOD what a revelation so many of have hidden talents in us and the blogs just is one way to show case them
I mean how many people can make a incident which happened 15 years ago sound interesting funny and lyrical well I found out tonight that they can.......
Well you see writing blogs is such a powerful medium people from all walks of life and people of all types are writing and just by a click of a mouse you can have views information and data about everything under the sun and beyond
I recently as a fad just typed in recession (hot topic for job searchers like us)and then I saw so many blogs on the topic and each person has different viewpoint and a different data to support it ans one of the blog was of my classmate too.I am writing about this because I find myself very very blessed that I have such a chance to look into the minds of so many people and that too without actually knowing them .The recent fad my friends are mad about is the TWILIGHT SERIES and and my blessed heart people have also written about this book in their blogs "how can anyone fall in love with their food and the food which is so dumb" oh my gosh I now believe that everyone has a talent and mostly its writing..............

Pact With "DEVIL"

How many times in our life have we made a pact with devil ? well most of us will say no never but let me remind you all of somethings
haven't we all at some time or other prayed to GOD that plz god give me this and in return I'll do this or GOD save me once this time and I'll do this ..... and so on
All this a pact with DEVIL a contract because its only the devil who asks for returns when doing a favour because GOD always gives us what we want only the fact is that he gives us the thing we want most when we need it most........... as IN BHAGWAT GITA lord has said that" jarurat se jyada aur samay se pehle kisi ko kuch nahi milta"
This is what lord wants us to learn patience and the wisdom of asking the right thing
asking for things which we really need instead of things we things we aspire or want.

I BELIEVE IF WE BELIEVE IN GOD HE'LL PROVIDE US ALL WE WANT JUST HAVE FAITH AND STOP MAKING THE PACTS BECAUSE GOD NEVER ASKS ANYTHING IN RETURN FROM US .....

i little towards understanding myself

i always believe that dreams are purest essence of our beings because they actually put forward whats in our subconscious mind , they tell us what we actually are the truths which we hide even from ourselves.
so what has my dreams told me about myself
well essentially i am a problem solver i won't be deterred by any problem i face in my life in one of dreams i have been left alone on a station with notihng in my hand yet without loosing any hope i just plough forward making my way across tunnels and jungles and lonely roads and make my way to the next station where i meet up my friends and catch my train.
this shows that i will not give yet in my real life i give up early so my dreams tell me that i really do have everything i need inside me and can do anything.
well some of my dreams have been real scary yet i have never woken up in a dream after being scared they always reach a logical ending.
sometimes when i have been pursued by snakes i am surrounded by snakes and yet iam finding out ways to solve the situation how to save myself
is it because iam naturally a logical person or just that in my subconscious mind iam a lot more courageous than i really am.
but one thing is sure that i am intrinsically a optimist although i try to be a pessimist in my conscious life
because in my dreams iam the optimist always the winner whatever the situation or condition
and now because of my dreams i am getting the reason to be really so

i don't know how a perfectly good day can turn against you!!!!!!!!!!!! it begins with a bang and then ends in ahhh why? thats because life has a way of giving you speed breakers when you least expect it and the speed breakers are such that they leave you feeling disoriented for hours at a stretch .......... its only when u wake and are trying to pick up the pieces to go back to normal life that u realise that in your disorientation u have lost the pieces..............so how do we deal with the missing pieces
i think that every day in my life is a mystery because each day i try to gather and make sense but in the end i feel i am missing the big picture so whats this puzzle .
at the end i feel that its always better to travel alone because if u start traveling in groups u have to bow to the wishes of majority which i think that its stupid when u have Ur decisions to make and know yourself better so its more good to have a single journey
and i don't believe that i'll be lonely because i have company of myself which is more than enough

And as far as I concerned I am better off alone because somehow my sense of direction of thoughts doesn't match with people around me whether they are friends or foes.

i don't know about others but i have this grave fear of being dependent upon others because i feel that i should not be asking help and i am so paranoid about asking help that i rather remain in hell than ask for help..........but is this a folly i don't think so because i feel that taking someone's help however close i may be to that person just makes me in gratitude of the person and its highly imperative that i return or finish that debt of gratitude
in mahabharta karan had to side with evil only because he was under the debt of duryodhana and i would never want to be in such a situation so i would rather travel alone than incurring debts of my friends which would only bind me more to them
i know my words also show that iam being afraid of any kind binding relation but thats the way i am
i want people to be with me because they want it not because they have to and the same reasoning goes for me
i know my this thought of reasoning wouldn't go well with family because there they are there but then doesn't every one in family have preferences ..
so whta do we make of them
on this note i leave because i need to go