GOODBYE

I have never been good at saying goodbyes, I always used to shy away from goodbyes and turn away when the time came in order to spare myself the pain of of saying the last words. But as years go by I still feel the same pain, I have never been able to let go and that comes because I have never been able to say a proper goodbye to all things which have been part of my life , to all people who have shaped my life and then gone out of it
I would like to go back in time and bid my childhood home a goodbye, the trees under whose shadows I played , I would love to go back and stand under the shades and remember the person I used to be, people will say she is living in the past and I would agree to some extent that yes I am what is the past but a part of myself a part which has shaped the current me. What harm is there to go back and be the past and for some time atleast escape the now life
Most of us however we are whatever we are always have preserved the memories of good things in life, just try and remember to the worst day of your life and you’ll still find something in that worse day which isn’t bad at all
So whats the harm in going down the memory lane once in a while of only to say goodbye !!!!!!!!
So I begin , I would go back to my childhood home , 3-d -19
I would say good bye to every nook and corner of that house , because in that house I have spent the happiest years of my life, I feel as if my innocence is still hiding there in the corner
It was a house with personality, I was living in a colony where all houses were same and yet I found my house my home to be quaintest of all. It had so many trees , so many that most of the time it was shrouded in trees shade . I loved imagining myself as the lost princess in the forest of trees
I used to play all kinds of imaginary games to fill the time when I was alone
They were good days , tv hadn’t captured my imagination till then and I was a free soul , a free mind and a free spirit to play as much and to imagine as much. The dolls I had , the games I played are all there in that house. I would go back and wish them all goodbye. I would say goodbye to the trees and the magic I created around them after I had read the faraway book series of Enid Blyton.
I would bid adieu to the rooms each of which has occupied a separate memory space in my brain. My study room which I inherited from my brother and the only room which I have called my own ever. That room had always held magic from me. I was there to read and get into studies and yet be there as a whole person. When ever things overwhelmed as they would sometimes I would go out to the terrace at night and watch out the night sky , so clear nights , so many stars and the quietness of the surroundings calmed my heart .
Where else have I ever got that contentment , where else have I got that stillness , where else have I ever felt one with my soul.
I ‘ll bid bye to the terrace and my study room , I’ll bid bye to the moon rising over the sky which has never looked the same since those days
I’ll stand in the corner and watch the rain pelting down and feel the freshness of the air around
I’ll run my hands along the contours of walls and imagine myself back in time when life was still so uncomplicated
I’ll say heartfelt thanks and a proper goodbye and come away with a feeling of being again joined in the thread of time which have entangled around me .
I would always regret tos ay that in our hurry of shifting to another house I could never say goodbye to the only house which I remember being so happy that I can’t remember one sad feeling associated with it. But with this trip back past I have finally made peace with having to say goodbye to one of the most precious things in one’s life-that is childhood.